Putin is a pianist? This is too much

A man reads a local newspaper and astonished, after seeing an ad about selling a talking dog. “Wow, unbelievable”, he thinks, hurriedly heading home to the seller. “I came about the dog, says he opened the door to a man. — She really knows how to talk?” “The dog in the utility room, says the seller. Come and say Hello to him.”

Feeling a bit silly, the buyer comes to lying on the carpet the dog. “Uh, Hello,’ he says. — You really know how to speak?” “Of course, responsible dog startled the man. — Not only speak. I can write”. “Really?” “Well, Yes,’ said the dog. — I recently received the Pulitzer prize. I also met with several Miss universe. And the rank of Lieutenant Colonel in Afghanistan received. And shortly before it scored three goals in the world Cup final”.

“You have an exceptional dog, says the visitor to the owner. — Why are you selling it?”

“Because she’s a filthy liar”, — he hears in response.

A wonderful joke, isn’t it? It is well known that Russians like anecdotes and jokes, and the more cynical the better. This one, about the dog, they should appreciate. But I started to doubt that when the list of achievements of their beloved President there is a new item. Although in recent years the Russian calmly put up with the endless stream of lies that pour them crude, but remarkably effective PR-machine of Vladimir Putin.

Well, Ivan (and Ivanka too) — you’re not idiots! Given your frankly dismal stories you better than we should know how this world works. Do you really believe that stuff? Do you seriously believe that your favorite dictator can any throw on the Mat in a judo match? He knows, as an experienced horseman, to ride a horse shirtless? He fights with bears? That he flies on sophisticated fighter jets? Catches on the hook salmon in the Siberian rivers? Looks very young, despite the fact that most definitely was not under the knife of the plastic surgeon, although on the face of it, ten years ago, began to appear some abnormal faces? He without much thought deals with potential enemies? Dives under the Arctic ice and takes out a priceless ancient pottery? Or, for that matter, with the greatest margin wins in all elections? And now strumming on the keys is not worse than Shostakovich? I will remind the good people of Russia: whatever you do or say your big boss, the West still is friendly to your country. In General, we wish you all the best. We know what you did in the first half of the 1940-ies. We realize that victory in the war ensured that your sacrifice and heroic valor. And believe me, we thank you.


But we’re also not idiots! We know when we are fooled, and you must know it too.

Vladimir Putin is not Superman. He is not a hero from the comics. It is normal and capable of making mistakes. There is no doubt that he has many talents; but he is not so talented as you are trying to convince. Hell, isn’t it time for you to grow up?

With all this, I’m sure exactly talking about what your guy Vlad is very strongly suppresses any threat to their homeland — both real and imaginary. So I hope he’s not offended by my careless comments. Be well. Thank you.

But soon I won’t drink in London tea with any mysterious Slavs.