Russian love to Trump

The hearts of the politicians full of enthusiasm. Thousands of polythalamic, prophets, seers, and just paranoid cut into hundreds of TV channels in the dispute will be whether Putin’s meeting with trump and how to behave like Putin? Hit you like a tramp on or before Pyongyang would bring troops to Syria? Or both at the same time. Will be removed first whether Bashar al-Assad or will be accepted for the Korean bulemia? Whether you take in the beginning Raqqa or immediately rush to Damascus? And in General — not Napoleon whether trump or only an agent of Putin? Did the agent Putin may not be a new Napoleon?— shout opponents.

On dozens of channels and hundreds of scientists, reveling in their hysteria, rushing wild gallop, jumping from topic to topic. Crushing opponents, the rebellious countries, peoples and their leaders. Do not disturb us. We will make trump the great and terrible Lord of the world of the evil Empire.

On all Russian TV channels Kurginyan hysterical splutter opponents. Opponents try to argue the paranoid television her timid schizophrenic delusions. Trump has brought to power a totalitarian sect of political strategists. 30 years ago Chumak charged via TV screens water it gave the audience. Some sects advise Trump to drive tanks in North Korea, and the others in Damascus and at the same time in Donetsk. Others in Beijing and at the same time.

Do not dare to interrupt, growls Kurginyan on opponents. — And viewers really do not advise you to switch. You screamed, blind and idiots! Remember, from now on you have no personal life. Before was not, and now even more will not.

But look into the eyes of telepsychiatric to holiday happiness. This is our time. Our hero — they scream at us from the screens. We grew it-cherish. We Putin a little, now the world’s two coolest. Competition “Tomahawk” with “Caliber” and “Sun” began. Out of the way, all sorts of small Nations with your microproblems. Thanks, trump, for how long we waited for you and now will not release from a scene, while you’re still on fire.

The silence in the hall, we now say that you will shout the scientists in dozens of countries at the audience. Worship us, damn you we’ll versed in this terrible trump.

Primetime hundreds of channels filled with the same topic. Politicians, MPs and commentators with a carnivorous smile, one for all, broadcast: “you’ll see, all of us are waiting for such events will Wake up the volcanoes, and the typhoons blow your roof, that you have a kind word will remember Obama. Look like today the trump tied the tie, is that you did not like? And all because you don’t know the truth about the origin of trump. His father — Winston Churchill, and my mother, of course, Margaret Thatcher. That’s where this over-the-top megalomania. Note his style of playing Golf, or how he sees women, even in deep retired. How much cynicism and outright male chauvinism in this opinion. Wow, once it becomes clear that he will put to shame the most famous womanizer in the White house. Don’t believe? Just look at what is lightning when gauges cute sekretutok. After Prime Minister Netanyahu, no one goes to him with his Secretary.

Please be patient immediately after the first hundred days will begin to do this himself Mick Jagger exclaim, “the Stage is yours. I fired.” But don’t worry, we are with you. Experts and analysts, we will keep you, dear viewers, and your family in this suspense, that not all families survive the intensity of our debates. Even if he will not do anything, we’ll be there to cover every step of the new occupant of the White house, who will soon recognize — soft drugs are nothing compared to trenomania.

We all the viewers to a needle plant, you hours without our fantasies to live can not. Now you heal, you will forget what personal life and will revel in our findings in the field of Chronologie. What’s that, a light we can and not let some wimp from the EU, Beijing or the Kremlin to reason with trump. Will not allow anyone to Rob us of power. Every word, deed, movement to the extent will be perversely interpreted to the whole world all four years of his presidency he lived in anticipation of the Apocalypse. And trump also, it needs to work for us, the technologists. We manage events and policies. We’ve already convinced everyone that trump is a great showman, just have to convince the trump. We are preparing an appeal to him on behalf of leading teleshoping the most famous channels in the world. Begins: friend, don’t stop, a week at least one global event. We will not let you ruin our show. Remember, trump, you should now only light, and the more dangerous and autoritarna you do it, the better.

Yes what there to hide — before you the reincarnation of Nero. Only the scale is bigger, Nero set fire to Rome, and that our hero is some kind of Rome? This guy is such a great party satisfied that all Sugar will soon flared.

The enemies started the rumors, they say, settled down, became quiet, modest on Twitter, and nothing was Given in public. And do you believe? What fools these viewers. “I feel sorry for you — growls Kurginyan. — It is hard to imagine what will happen to Russia when I will give tips. You see all the cowboy hiding, lulls you, cunning fellow, artfully thinks. I feel the hand of the old Fox, Kissinger. Trump and the old Fox at the same time. This is a big danger…..- Let me finish. Don’t you dare to contradict me”.

Nowhere on it does not go the whole television scored such nonsense. Remember the pique vests of the “Golden calf”. Reread this passage from the book and you will believe in the transmigration of souls: “Hoover — it a head. And Hindenburg — head. Hoover and Hindenburg — the two heads. Ostap Bender has mastered horror. The oldest of the pique vests plunged into a quagmire of high politics… Already in his eyes appeared idiotic brilliance, already over a yellowish starched collar, shaking Adam’s Apple, heralding the birth of a new phrase, when Bender unscrewed the light bulb and threw it on the floor.”

Now, dozens of such types with the same idiotic gleam in his eyes filled the channels.

“Be patient, — broadcasting ORT, trump will be so fun and so creepy that Hillary Clinton will seem like a blissful old woman and want to move across the street, even if it is not necessary. Promise you, trump will be the same great carnival for us, the masters of verbiage, what was the whole period of the election campaign. Oh, to be reckless, Oh, light, Oh, it will spread the glow of the conflagration in the Middle East on the Front, Middle and Back. And what of the fires flared into the towers of the great wall. In Beijing claim that the Great wall is the only structure visible from space. Now you will only see the fires on the wall.”

The first stage is passed, when trump was quiet: the squirrels nuts, ice cream for children. And now so raged that they do not dare to rage, the father and son bushes.

Some paranoid broadcast on TV, that card’s going to be revealed and will be the most anti-Russian politician of the West. Others claim he’s faking it, he’s still the most Pro-Russian of all the presidents of the United States. Others shout: “what are you talking about, those sheep who were invited to the ORT? This Ernst do the job comes or does sachmanya as Guzman?

“You are all fools, — speaks Kurginyan. — Here will see, everything will be as I say. Among the most ardent Russophobe in the entire history of the White house. You look at his red pupils at a press conference, and the hatred he speaks of green, red, yellow and blue. You still dare to argue with me?— points in the opponent’s side — kicks the villain out of the program, from Moscow, to deprive of citizenship and residence. Just think of it, this riff — raff- our elite; poor Russia, what are you gonna do without me.”

Some experts claim, saying that only he has the exact information about the date of departure trump to Moscow, where he intends to realize their old dream — to meet with Putin, to make friends with him and Sergei Shoigu, to make a couple of compliments beloved leopard of the President, play a round of Golf with Kudrin or Lavrov, Putin’s choice, Medvedev and visit SKOLKOVO.

What the hell are the responsibility of Erandio, jabbering away, — squeals opponent — everything will be as I say. First, trump would drive the air strikes on Syria, relations with Russia, will kick the heat to the Caribbean conflict, but when all progressive humanity and the part of congressmen is lying at his feet, he expressed the desire to go hunting with Putin and Shoigu on red-breasted geese and the saiga in the Astrakhan steppes. Where the beaters will have the French President and fifteen of his colleagues from the European Union.

Upon returning from Astrakhan to publicly spit on the Senate, McCain will send an Ambassador to Micronesia, and give the SUV the Russian foreign Ministry. Join the ranks of Regardie under the name Kotik Letaev. This is the name of your favorite character Maria Zakharova from the works of Andrei Bely. When Congress finds out, it will be too late. Under the dictation of Maria Zakharova Cat such mangled wood that Lavrov will send its Plenipotentiary Ambassador of Micronesia closer to, say, Singapore. In protest trump on his yacht crashes into a cruiser “Varyag” in the Sevastopol Bay. That’s when events finally will become unpredictable and will be Erdogan with an offer to reconcile with Putin’s trump in Astana.

But this time on the channel-competitor another gang of politicians pounced on the topic “trump, Ukraine and the Crimea.” The main question of debate “whether Poland play off trump with the Kremlin in Donetsk and under the guise imperceptibly umyknut Ukraine your favorite lions?”.

— It all depends on Yulia Tymoshenko, — say one of teleguidance — will she be able to seduce trump the Odessa port and sell it for two billion dollars Kherson airport.

You are all adventurers, say the opponents. — The Washington obkom’ll eat your trump for a sweet soul even flirting with Yulia Tymoshenko. Moreover, it will slow down, if only he without permission from the Kremlin to flirt with the President and the Crimean Tatars.

In response, the experts of the centre “spin doctors-maniacs” shrieked: “I know nothing the country. Trump never spit on the Congress publicly, never visit the Crimean health resort “Matsesta” and the Palace of Bakhchisarai. Our trump is not so simple, rather it lands in Syria a dozen divisions. As soon as the special forces will find themselves surrounded by the ISIS (ISIS — banned organization in Russia — approx. ed.) will turn to Shoigu. Of course, Shoigu will help, provided that overnight the oil rises to $ 95. Then throw a couple of battalions and save ten divisions of Americans from a complete rout pathetic bunch of ISIS. At the same time Shoigu gouging the hell out of all the bases that still swarmed not our moderate. Then trump so love Bashar al-Assad that will make his hawks out of Congress, together with Maria Zakharova to go to Damascus and to publicly repent.

At this time on the other channel is the hot discussion of the genealogical tree of the Tramp. Some scientists convince viewers that trump’s mother was a Viking, and his father is from the Polovtsian. They are both our guys, that would be about the steppe migrants the time of Tamerlane, did not. There is even a version that hails from Rurik, although Haifa has recently announced that he found near Kiev the grave tramp great-grandmother. On the grave the inscription “the Unforgettable Esther Solomonovna Greenberg-Dodelson from inconsolable Givi Borgosesia”.

The Ministry of foreign Affairs of Russia will tell out: Snowden should throw in the Network of real pedigree Hillary Clinton and Obama. It turns out that both have no relation to Africa, as indeed to America as well. Trump-wife — Slavyanka, while Clinton is generally a nightmare, grandmother masseuse sanatorium “Czech trade unions” in Karlovy vary. Of course, trump will be grateful to us for having allowed him to kill both bedbugs opposition in Congress, at the same time to split NATO, the EU and China. You’ll see no later than the fifth month in the post it will send to channel text messages with the content “Thanks for the genealogy. Such things are not forgotten, and I will not forget.” On the same day will give Bashar Assad a decommissioned aircraft carrier with a decent dance floor 20 MiGs.

We are in the thrall of totalitarian political strategists. For 24 hours a day for forty languages of the world on all TV channels shouting-screaming I temporily with temporally. Millions of people intoxicated with the drug the analysts listening to the crap about the President, or scout, or boyfriend, is unable to distinguish one fight from another, forget about the unfinished house and their children, which swallowed the street. Consolation is the voice from the box: everything you need to live with the anticipation of the inevitable embrace of trump and Putin, and sobs the Chinese premiere of Pina, not invited to the hug.

Dozens of scientists are fed around the same pot, and judging by the passions in the Studio, feed good. Trump loves the EU, China or Russia, or pretending to be, and if he’s pretending how sincere hypocrisy?

Some foaming at the mouth — love, other — not a fact. The first patriots, the second — traitors. The second kicked out of the Studio and in a minute they are on the other channel.

On all channels the debate on the topic: Dare trump to confess his love to Taiwan, Russia and antipathy to Poroshenko and to Pin.

— There are signs that dares, and very soon, say some. — Trump has proposed to build a wall on the border with Mexico, and thus openly supported Sobyanin for the demolition of migrant benches in the center of Moscow.

“Can I have a few words about Real Madrid, Ronaldo and his beloved “Barcelona?” timidly sports commentator trying to squeeze into a roaring crowd of scientists.

Fierce enemies, ready to tear each other instantly freeze together and attack the athlete. “But what the hell “real”? Who is Ronaldo? You don’t think about home, so at least think about the children. From me, Kurginyan, the future of your children, and you start with Ronaldo. The fate of the planet, and it is about some lousy Barcelona. You have about Zenit tell.

And suddenly, one of the politicians in the cry: “I Have an idea for a new TV show. It is necessary to discuss the topic “How to make a trump on the first day of his official visit to Paris slept with marine Le Pen, a fierce enemy of Merkel, and to the footage on Twitter blew up the European Union.

Great. It is necessary to connect hackers — sounds offer. — Merkel in despair scissor all their pink jackets, to spite the Americans cancels sanctions and flies to rest in the Crimea, where talks with the leaders of the Crimean Tatars in Russian. Poroshenko resigned, Avakov shoot in the office, Saakashvili rents to FSB the dirt on the leaders of the Maidan.

All countries and peoples of Eurasia by design commentators should fade from the TV screens and listen to terroblade oracles – spin doctors.

Freeze screens, today we are discussing whether love trump Finnish sauna or prefer Spanish ham and a Turkish bath. Don’t miss out, tomorrow there will be a sensational transfer. You know what I think 145 leading analysts about the business interests of the trump in Egypt, Sweden and Taiwan. Stay tuned, you all the participants of the TV show “the tramp and the Solar system”. We promise the country a sharp reduction in divorces and street crime. Are you with us? Dare to say no.

Presenters to broadcast hundreds of channels: “We will sekerim you like political scandals of all viewers will do bulemics. Political connoisseurs is in Durnovo era. You have to sit on tanoglu and will not peel off with it all four years of his stay in the White house. And we will overfeed you a well-paid improvisations on the theme of “Spike Lee trump in Chinese carotid artery in 2017 year and will bite if in the 18th. And how to speed up the process?”.

On behalf of all overfed trenomania viewers say strategists: “Yeah spit on all your predictions about the first hundred days and the last hundred days and a thousand days between the first and the last, and your fantasies about the position of one billionaire in Mexico, NATO, EU and SCO. And passionate desire of the wife of the President to destroy the garden of saprogenic Obama with organic tomatoes.

But the box spit out what we spit on it, the box announces: “Now is, just do not switch. And nowhere to go. There the same thing.”

Listen to my nonsense 24 hours a day, five in the morning, I finally come to the topic for which you all abandoned their families and jobs. You will learn what will make trump with NATO, the EU and Eurasia in General — broadcasting new Kashpirovsky-Kurginyan and slyly adds — And you, dear viewers don’t suggest to switch, there is also I, your great Oracle and the seer, the new Nostradamus, Zhirinovsky and Chumak in one person Kurginyan.