Times are never easy. Many often have to save, and to choose between to save for something big and important in the future or to indulge in the here and now. “Today” has considered various motivating savings and along with a practicing psychologist and coach understood, what harm is borne by the minimization of costs and what people are Shopaholic.
- Anastasia town hall, a psychologist at the center ALTERA
- Olga Sitnik, life and business coach
THE MAIN DANGER: “I DON’T NEED MUCH”
When someone offers to give up now chocolate or other short-term pleasure, just remember the anecdote: “You know, if you hadn’t smoked and saved money, now could already afford to buy a Lexus?” “Really? Do you smoke?” “I — no!” — “Well, where’s your Lexus?”.
What is the difference of saving yourself from the good quality type of rationality and frugality? It’s simple: when a person knowingly reduces their quality of life, and even for quite a long time, he deprives himself of pleasure and care. When all purchases are made on the basis of a single criterion: do they have an urgent need for survival, it becomes clear that you can do without many things. You can certainly live without the haircut and massage, without new and beautiful things, without a break and a rest… But what will become of this life?
It is their inability to recognize their desires and needs, psychologists say.
“And that greed in itself, I would add another aspect of “thrift” — saving time: when meeting the needs and requests of others time spent in hours, and over its never enough. Why do makeup, you can go and. No time to learn a foreign language — tomorrow’s not useful. But it is very important to listen to the complaints of a neighbor on life and a bad husband… the Consequences of such savings are scarier than they seem at first glance. Affects relations with the partner, it’s very exhausting, and the life does not remain”, — explains Olga Sitnik.
The reluctance of women to love and spend on themselves leads to the fact that her men are vanishing motivation to earn money for his family. It would seem a good intention to save for another big goal, to be caring, leads to the opposite effect — the wealth in the family is reduced.
LUXURY OR THERAPY
If you want to start saving, ask yourself the question: “Can I do without this coffee, dresses or necklaces, and what the refusal is going to cost me?”. At this moment shall be brought into financial costing, and internal — psychological. It may happen that if you do not pamper yourself with a Cup of coffee or buy a new dress, it can result in a large voltage.
Anastasia town hall explains: “Reflections of women “to buy a morning coffee in a beautiful Cup in a nice place, not a boring cook in the office to purchase another dress while in the closet is no place” — for me, from the outside, sounds like an opportunity to present yourself pleasure. If to speak in metaphors, probably she has something inside “inflamed”, and small pleasures she is trying to treat: such a “band-aid” in the form of a Cup with coffee”.
Therefore, the internal conversation should not be about “saving or buy?”, and “Why do I have these beads? To just please yourself or harmoniously complement your image?”. And from this position make the buying decision. Making compulsive purchases: “Got paid, went to the store, then — as in a dream”, you need to think how big that hole you’re trying to close this uncontrolled go shopping? You may be able to patch ourselves sleep, walk, or socializing with friends.
TO ACCEPT THEIR PRESENT SITUATION
In our culture already caught on that you need to be successful and rich. But, unfortunately, most citizens is very low standard of living. The society presses: gadgets should be a rest abroad, and the clothes must be branded. Yielding to pressure some poor people with material trying to prove his worth. For example, people bought the new model of the smartphone — a loan for which you have to pay most of the salary. And this despite the rather modest life in a Studio apartment with three generations of relatives. It is a way to compensate for the “failures” of the external attributes. Because the smartphone you see everything and “killed” the apartment, “empty” pasta three times a day and the loan is almost none. But how to handle the pressure, “You must be successful, otherwise you’re a loser”?
“Definite advice here no need to look for a way out. I believe that you need to confirm their own importance somewhere beyond the material. Try to be honest with yourself, realize and accept: “Yes, my life has been this: with the old phone and anchovies for dinner. But she is also beautiful.” Let you can not afford to buy a smartphone, but it does not affect your internal qualities. You are a good, successful man who earns as much as can,” advises Anastasia.
TRAP FOR THE GREEDY
It so happens that people regret the money for themselves. Usually fall into the trap of women, most often made by society or parents installing such Trinity — selfishness. To blame: low self-esteem, ideas of victimhood, guilt, hypertrophied maternal instinct, covering not only children, but also for partners, friends and colleagues. Sometimes the cause is a lack of personal motivation to look good, problems with a partner, a violation of the balance “take/give” in family relations. All this directly affects the climate of the relationship, because man, pitying themselves money and other resources rarely manages to look attractive, confident and beautiful.
“Woman, sacrificing their needs for the benefit of loved ones, feel important and needed. Alas, she knows the only way to get proof of their importance. And all anything, but often at the sacrifice of all, the person expects the same attitude. But not voiced this desire, not to mention it, but waits and thinks that the partner of “read thoughts”. And usually gets nothing, because the other person has no idea about this specific need. All this leads to disorders in the relationship. In the picture of the world interfere career, friendship — to the establishment of equal relations,” — says Olga.
If you catch yourself in this, try to step over the savings for yourself at the beginning in small things — treat yourself for no reason going out for coffee, a new cream or new clothes. Try to show his own rational “I” that taking care of yourself is just as important and necessary as the native people.