Vladimir Putin has ordered his top intelligence agents operating in the United States, to go to the outlets clothing Greg Norman and tirelessly to reserve tables in the restaurant at the Mar-a-Lago in Florida.
“Forget about the hidden effective confidential sources, secret exchanges of letters with invisible ink, enough to play Mata Hari,” — said Putin.
“More than a penny we don’t pay traitors.
All we gotta do is get close with that stupid Donald.
Golf, glamour and gluttony — here’s the key.
Flatter him, say that he has the best in the world t-shirt, caught his eye at dinner at his residence in Lago, tell him that his daughter is the most elastic ass in the world, whisper in his ear that it would be with Alec Baldwin, if he suffered his nonsense in Saturday Prime time on the Moscow TV channel. Don’t skimp on the details. Hit in the gut.
He is alive you will not be peel off, as if you had a special escort at the Ritz-Carlton in red square”.
An indication of Mr. Putin to abandon the old tactics in favor of the Grand communication at leisure followed the information that Donald trump happily leaked classified data, and also jeopardized important informant associated with ISIS (declared a terrorist organization and banned in Russia — approx. ed.), during his meeting with Russian foreign Minister and Russia’s Ambassador to the United States.
“Can you imagine, Putin said, putting in place 200-pound barbell, which he squeezes for the relief of the biceps. He just invited them to the White house and got stuck”.
“Split, Your Magnificence,” the nervously straightened his Advisor.
“Thank you. Now go to the basement of the Lubyanka, a pain in the ass” — said Putin.
“All the efforts of our cyberpatriot, our hacker army, our comrades in WikiLeaks. And our forces svergouzova appointment at the Ritz. Our agents and useful deals with friends of friends…
All this we do not need the gift was.
This Hollywood con man, Reagan said that he won the cold war. What kind of bragging rights. Ran ahead of the engine, as all the Yankees.
And we returned in triumph! I only had to wait for the fools, idiots, our dear friend Donald.
The guy who handed us all the secrets and thought that I consulted “on hurrah”.
Send our teams to the Golf clubs. Buy waiters in Mar-a-Lago. Assign extracurricular appointments for our diplomats in the White house.
But quick! Do not over tighten. And his idiot supporters will finally understand what to do.
Come hither now my Kalash. Go bears shoot”.