How to save your marriage before the Golden wedding: a personal experience and secrets of Ukrainians, who for half a century together

In our hectic time, we are accustomed to divorce. Couples who have been together 50 years — a whole half a century! — perceived not only as a miracle. In anticipation of spring “Today” has collected 6 stories of couples who have lived together for half a century, and found out the secret of their happiness and the key to warm relations.


“Bitter” at the Golden wedding we were shouting more than 50 years ago, the lips are tired from kissing!”, just kidding spouses from Novograd-Volyn, Zhytomyr region Vitaly and Valentina Boichuk. “Preparing for a year — says 75-year-old Valentina terenik. — I bought a beautiful dress, wedding wreath and veil. The husband has presented a luxurious necklace and bracelet. Ordered an expensive restaurant, a brass band, and a huge three-storey wedding cake and loaf. If the day of painting we have done only one wedding photo, with the Golden wedding we have hundreds of pictures and even movies! The whole evening, guests called us the “Golden” newlyweds. We promised to collect all back on the diamond wedding, even after 10 years.”

“When fifty years ago I saw Valya and I knew mine says 77-year-old Vitaly Lukyanenko. — However, at the moment were not even aware that you have a good try to win her heart. She was just about to marry another, and I literally snatched it from under the crown.” “It was love from the first time — confirms Valentine. I’m from Tambov, and in the Zhytomyr region came to study at the pedagogical University. She lived with her sister — she married a Ukrainian. For revenues lost by one point, because he entered in absentia in medical school in Tambov. But live, I left my sister in the village of Horodnytsia, the Novohrad-Volyn district. It’s a long ride session, but there was an occasion once again to see my parents.

In Tambov, I met with beautiful Muscovite. We started Dating, he often drove me in Ukraine. I worked as a nurse Gorodnichy the hospital, rented a room from a landlady. I remember once came home for lunch, and I say: “Val, we were in the village the auditor arrived, so cute! All the women came running at him to take a look — tall, handsome, plays the accordion. Let’s invite him to visit, for a friend’s birthday?”. In the evening we sat at the same table, and Vitali never took his eyes off me. In Moscow in full preparations for the wedding went on, and I feel that fell in love with another. In General, refused I the Muscovite. He was in shock, and his mom wrote me an angry letter. But the heart wants what it wants — I seriously fell in love.”
Vitaly and Valentina — two sons, a grandson, a granddaughter and five great-grandchildren. Locals call them the perfect couple. Vitaly and Valentina love the evening stroll, holding hands, around the city. “My wife is an excellent cook, kind mother and a faithful friend, — said Vitaly. On our anniversary I gave… your favorite song. He wrote both words and music. A couple of months secretly rehearsing the song to the accordion. As soon as the wife from the house for bread — I’m right behind the accordion. I really wanted to surprise her”.

“The secret of a successful marriage does not exist, — says Valentina. We have fights! But you always have to communicate a lot, discuss everything — the neighbors, the problems of the world… it is Important to be able to keep silent and respect each other. But I think all of these 50 years helped us love!”.


The indigenous people of Kiev, Grigory and Elena Khomyakov in January, said the restaurant Golden wedding. And was found 50 years ago in the Museum in Leningrad, where he arrived on the tour. Got to talking and it turned out that they were both from Kiev. After returning home, began to call. After a couple of months was found, and after six months were married. “We were 18 years old, — says Grigory hamsters. — Everything happened fast — we were in love and wanted to spend your life with. Especially Lena grew up without a father, and I have died mother.” “We realized that we were made for each other — we have birthdays in August, characters like, — says Elena Khomyakova. — Similar tastes in food and sports, books one read, and our parents — hereditary teacher.”

Admit: it had its moments. When the child was born, the conflict began, even thought about divorce. “We reconciled the birth of her second child. But after a couple of years, he died in an accident, and this was a great grief, — says Elena. — My husband supported me all this time, we became more United. Only 35 years old, I was able to get pregnant again. Much later I read that in every marriage there are crises 5, 10, 15 years. It is.”

“Very helpful to save your marriage kisses — believe wife. — All these years we kiss when meeting and when leaving the house, bedtime, in the morning and just in passing, as in the first days of marriage.” “All these years I never betrayed him, and her husband about his infidelity was not asked, — Elena smiles. — My rule is: “Mistress, you don’t know — does not exist.” Still call my husband “Lelik”, and he gave me “Squirrel”. When he had a headache, then pressed it to my chest and said it was his heal.”


Oleg Reshetnyak and Antonina have 57 years together, and familiar, that is, from the cradle. Their childhood passed in the same yard in Odessa. They went to the same school in the same class, but special attention to each other did not show. And after high school, I realized that apart something is missing. With the permission of the parents of Antonina, Oleg began to take care of Tonya. Having received the profession of a sailor, Oleg made his beloved proposal and on 13 August, throwing superstition, signed. The next day after the wedding the newly minted husband is gone.

Only Tonya did not studied, then went to work, raised the child. A great joy was getting to his apartment, which was allocated the shipping company. Because the home was inhabited by the families of the sailors, there were curiosities: Antonina went to the post office to send her husband a congratulatory telegram and met a neighbor Rose, who asked her husband, also a telegram of congratulations to send. Antonina did. Soon rose got back: “That Rose?”. It turns out that the text of the telegram from the Rose Antonina called her husband’s friend whether the cat, or the sun. Husband of Rose never heard of such treatment and decided that he is hiding something. Later Antonina even had to explain to my husband Roses that she screwed up. “Every family has a secret code of relations inherent only to two people,” smiling, Antonina.

Today Oleg Rachel spends a lot of time at home, and Antonina continues to go to work in the sewing Studio. When she is delayed at work, the husband starts to worry. The reproaches of the husband of Antonina with a smile says what to expect over the years she learned, now it’s his turn: “With age, you realize that one of the most pleasant feelings in the world when you feel good about the fact that the beloved is well. This is the main secret.”

“I have not heard of the scandals, the parents were able to solve them without submitting to the public, says their daughter, Alexandra. — I thought it was the norm, and when “out of home” — it turned out that people are different. I still remember as a little shy to be present when they are short and occasional phone conversations. Understand — this time is love. Have grandchildren even have their own collection of quotes “As they say grandpa and grandma.” Kids like and I write them letters and dedicate paintings, and on Sundays a traditional joint obezitatii, although all had long been living separately”.


Elizabeth and Nicholas Rahawy 52 years together. To Nicholas Elizabeth was already married, but lived with her first husband for only 3 months, then divorced and returned to the mother. After the war, Lisa’s mom was in Kaliningrad. Once at a dance at the officers friend introduced 23-year-old Lisa with a tall, dark guy. 22-year-old Nicholas was studying in tank school in Kiev and came to practice. “I immediately liked it. No wonder a friend said that the beautiful,” recalls Elizabeth Rachel. The girl left him my phone number and photo. Six months they corresponded. After graduation, Nicholas was sent to serve in Kaliningrad, the pair continued to meet. First lived in an apartment her mom, then rented the room soon got his two-bedroom apartment from a regiment where he served. After some time a son, Ignat. Father was sent to serve in Germany. For 8 years the family traveled to a foreign country, and a son Igor was born in Potsdam.

The constant moving, according to Rakovich, was a major challenge for their families. My husband never had time for children, so their education is mainly engaged mother. “In total we spent in rented apartments and on suitcases 26 years! — Says Elena. Sometimes they lived in separate apartments, and sometimes in hostels. Children changed a lot of schools. It was especially difficult in remote garrison in Turkmenistan, where they drank only the salty water, and the family once a week on the bus were taken to the bath. My husband could Wake up in the middle of the night by a knock at the window, and it instantly was going on teaching. Things were in boxes every day, we had to look for the shoes, the clothes.”

Not without cheating: when Elizabeth was pregnant with a third child, found in the belongings of a letter from husband’s mistress and filed for divorce. They even wanted to have an abortion, but decided not to. In the end, it is the birth of a child saved their marriage. After his birth they arrived in Vasilkov Kiev region, received a two-bedroom apartment and still live. “The relationship was long and strong, they need work. And betrayal and conflicts happen in every Union, but do not always lead to divorce” — sure, Elizabeth Rachel. “I always try to go to the grocery store, less conflict, when the wife’s in a bad mood, fixing everything broken in the house and give her all his pension. And she still calls me “beloved”, — says Nikolay.


Love and Yaroslav Omelyan together for over 50 years. “Plus 10 years in the camps in Siberia”, — sadly smiling, said Yaroslav Maksimovich. But remained the “witnesses” — hundreds of pencil sketches taiga landscapes, sketches of life in the barracks, portraits of prisoners and dozens of portraits of his Ljubuški. 88-year-old artist pulls from the vaults of a small piece of cardboard with a picture of a naked artist’s model. “That’s my wife!” proudly he admits.

They met on a barge, which arrested Ukrainians of Galicia were transported to the camps for deportees. Exhausted, hungry, people were in a daze: in the dank hold was cold, and the light penetrated only through cracks of the deck. Suddenly high and girlish voice tightened “Nich yaka msacn”, — “…Zoryana, clear”, — picked men. Yaroslav sat 52-year-old mother back and made his way to the singers. Near the side and saw the low girl who put a guy’s head shoulder and sang. When the tune stopped, walked up to her and timidly held out his hand: “Yaroslav”. “Luba, she smiled, and my brother and parents.” “I’m also a mother, and the father in Lviv in prison,” he sighed. In the Siberian village they were in different barracks, but the evening definitely tried to meet, to have at least a couple of words. “We just needed at least a minute to look each other in the eye,” — says the interlocutor, Mrs. Luba, with a smile looking at her husband, gently holding his hand.

Luba was lucky – she was offered a job of the laboratory to the clinic. But Yaroslav from the school of applied art had to unload the barges. Especially heavy were the bags of sugar under 100 kg, pinned huge chunks. In the evenings mom with Any gently wiped his back and blood smeared the wounds. A year Omelyaniv sent to another village, and 9 years of Yaroslav and Luba only corresponded. Knowing that the letters checked, Yaroslav drew pictures, hinting at their feelings. The girl briefly reported: “We are alive, remember the time when were together.”

Only in 1959, the families were allowed to return to Ukraine. In Ternopil they finally got married, and for several years has up to 10 years imprisonment — graduated higher education, have built a house and gave birth to a son. Yaroslav Maksimovich, author of unique miniature Shevchenko — preparing three exhibitions.