Even at the stage of choosing the school for your child, many parents follow the rule “don’t school and teachers.” But sometimes the relationship of the pupil with the class teacher or subject teachers and does not add up. And parents instead of having to find a fruitful cooperation, choose a different line of conduct. Moreover, the line these are fundamentally different, and the extremes of “let it out” or “will tear all of the child” are beginning to curry favor with the teacher. In the first case, parents try to minimize contact with the teacher/class, and the second — to impose on the child special attention (which may lead to additional problems in class). About how to build relationships with the teacher, we told the psychologist Darin Pokalchuk and Svetlana parshakova, teachers from schools in the capital Olga Dotsenko and Tanya Semenchuk.
COMMANDMENT: DO NOT CRITICIZE AND NOT TO ALIENATE THE HELP
The first advice given by psychologists and teachers to parents, is to try to make friends with the teacher and be interested in them as a person.
“Even elementrary sincere interest in the teacher, friendly attitude and offer of assistance will leave about you as a parent, a pleasant experience — the psychologist Svetlana parshakova. — This, of course, the teacher immediately will load you with all that he had accumulated. But maybe sometime I will. You can also learn what the teacher asked. Very important: do not criticize him and do not discuss — nor the children, nor the other parents”.
The parents, however, have different views on this advice — so, some believe that this is the way to make friends it was too smacks of fawning.
“I don’t understand why I have to exercise excessive helpfulness. In my opinion, fairly quiet and smooth business relationship,” says the mother of the Kiev student Oksana Lysenko.
Worth to go to meetings and maintain contact with the teacher.
The COMMITTEE. Some parents believe that the best way to build relationships is to be in the PTA. But teachers with this approach do not agree.
“A lot of times was resentment from the parents of the Committee that the child has no special relationship — says the teacher from Kiev Tatiana Semenchuk. — It is necessary to explain participation in parent Committee: it provides for the purchase of notebooks, plasticine, excursions, etc., not special treatment.”
But parent meetings is another matter, and psychologists recommend not to neglect them from the very first class.
“You will know what is happening, will be able to discuss the problem when she appeared. But the teacher will see that you are not indifferent to the life of the school and the child inside her, says Darina Pokalchuk. But the main thing is not to assess or blame the teacher, and to exchange views on the interests of the child. If your baby is “honored Tomboy of the class” — learn to stop attempts of other parents to Express a negative opinion on him”.
But on this Board many parents found their own interpretation: according to them, most of the time at meetings devoted to financial issues.
“But the money gonna tell you anyway, and a hundred times I remind you. But to establish contact with the teacher other ways, other than meetings, not so much,” says Tatiana Semenchuk.
HAND ON THE PULSE OF THE LESSON
Despite the fact that the word “adjust” is widely perceived negatively, without this, sometimes not enough, because students in the class a lot, and the teacher one. So, it is necessary to find a compromise — especially if it’s about how to behave in the classroom.
“The parent can according to the type of temperament of the teacher to explain to the child how to respond in the classroom, psychologists say. — If the teacher is a pedant, it should be ordered: response to the plan (maybe even prescription), clear, with a minimum of reasoning, and the themes in the notebooks — divided into sub-topics, paragraphs, etc. If the teacher itself is fast — it is important to the ability to respond quickly and effectively. If the student cannot do so, you should immediately start to say “now I will lay out” — otherwise there is a possibility that the teacher will sit with the two. The easiest way with the emotional and creative teachers — the answer may not be as clear and fast, and introductory words and thoughts will be only plus”.
Psychologists have another tip regarding competent cooperation when a child has a Hypo – or hyperdynamic syndrome (too slow or too alive). “Two daredevils for the class to withstand hard, and when they bust — there is a possibility that your baby will be the one whose transfer to another school/class teacher will lobby. To avoid this, you need to be in contact with the teacher.
“I would advise to come to the teacher, explain the situation, ask for advice, and to assure that you will obey his counsel (preferably, however, they do run), says Darina Pokalchuk. After a week or two to come again and to ask whether there is progress, and again ask for recommendations, then again. Most likely, the teacher unconsciously begin to treat the child. This can change the attitude of the pupil to the school, and the teacher believes in your success as an expert.”
LISTEN TO THE TEACHER. “Unfortunately, there are times when with a student to cope at school can’t, says Kievskiy teacher Olga Dotsenko. The teacher and the choir teacher say that your child has a problem. Parents at this time are highly sensitive to criticism and deny everything. But one should listen to the bells and make the pupil at least to the school psychologist. The child may not hyperdynamics — he just needs professional help”.