We will now say a terrible thing: a New year — a not so merry celebration as it seems. Why it happened and how to spend it, not going mad, said the psychologist Olga Perekopivka.
“We have somehow accepted that the night of January 1, it is necessary to hold noisy and fun, — said the psychologist. — If you just want to sleep, society will not understand you (“you’re dull!”). This condemnation is so strong that many of us strive to celebrate the New year among people, sometimes even unpleasant, just not alone. Three years ago I was in new year’s eve on the Maidan, and saw a lot of lonely people. Many came there to have fun in a big company. But there were those who wanted to somehow be involved in the celebration. It is better to say: “I was on Maidan,” than to look like a loser in the eyes of others. What to do in such situations? Ask yourself, “What is this day for me? What it carries meaning for me?”. Most likely, thinking about it, you will calm down and cease to assume that your reluctance to party until 5 in the morning makes you weird.”
MORE LIKELY TO SUFFER EXTROVERTS AND LONELY
The new year is a challenge for all. But there are those who at this time have especially hard time.
ALL WOMEN OF THE WORLD. Most often they choose gifts from the whole family, think through the menu and decoration of the house. Close to the 31 December women begin to boil and yelling at her husband: “I did it all myself, and could to help!”. However, most often, to throw at any woman, nobody asked for it: she invented, planned, razrulil and offended. Who was she to blame? No! Need help — ask, do not want to do something — delegate. In addition, many people really like to prepare. There are others we need to understand that she goes because she needs help, or because she just wants thanks.
EXTROVERTS. These people love to do things beautifully to the audience appreciated. If guests show up — put on the table the best dishes, and the salads are works of art. They do not explain why really try — just as it should be. But the question, whether they want it or not, does not even arise. But the subconscious is not fooled, and somewhere deep inside there is a riot. He transformirovalsya in irritation, shouts and the list goes on.
One way out — listen to yourself. In the XXI century we can already afford it. Want to meet a nice holiday or want to meet him happily? It is the same. If in fact you prefer to order a pizza from a nearby cafe and beer — okay! And spit on those who tighten hateful “As the New year meet…”. Let’s remember all the years that they have started with a fun celebration. They then turned into a permanent holiday? Unlikely.
LIVING SEPARATELY. Those who see his family often go on a holiday with longing. Still — because they know that they will fall tactless questions: “When are you getting married?”, “Then the kids coming?”, “Aren’t you tired of your stupid work — would have found something decent!”. For issues pulled the toast with wishes, which is also full of allusions to the changes in your life. We can hear these questions on 150 times a year, but still consistently from them start. Why and how to handle the issue for psychotherapy, and who will learn to escape from relatives.
First, rehearse your reaction to the unpleasant phrase to at the festival not to respond with irritation. The answer may be different from the jokes to requests for assistance if, for example, the long-awaited wedding is not enough money. Often helps quite cruel manipulation: “You understand that if there was a wife and child, then to you I come already?”. You can also ask in advance not to touch a sore subject: “I love you, but let’s not talk about it. For me it’s very important.” Very valuable assistance of the husband or wife. If my wife asked an uncomfortable question, my husband does not need to keep quiet: let polite, but protect it. Partner need to feel support, and in the end, “otgavkivatsya” together is always easier. On family advice, by the way, I often hear the claim of the wife to her husband: “do you remember we were arguing with your mom, and you for me did not come!”. Don’t allow this — there is nothing more important than your family.
By the way, conflicts in the family on New year’s often happen because a weekend is too much. Holiday vacation is a voluntary-compulsory holiday with family. The first couple of days still nothing, but then the conflicts start. Comes to the fact that relatives came is glad that tomorrow will leave and go to work. To avoid this, plan your weekend so that everyone has to leave early or to fill the days with something else than sitting at home.
ALONE. It’s about those who have no family or far from it. Often this happens with the elderly, but younger people are not immune. His position and feelings on the matter they feel is particularly acute in the New year, when strewed everywhere, the stereotypical images of the holiday with family. And then the Council rather their surroundings, neighbors, colleagues. If you know such a person, come to him the day of December 31 on 15 minutes with a gift for 50 UAH — do not multiply indifference.
WORKAHOLICS. These people leave work in the evening on December 31 and will be back there the next day. They would just NAP, but friends and family pressured — we need to celebrate! And so he goes to a party, the whole evening listening to the reproaches of unhappy facial expressions. What to do if all he wants is silence and a pillow? There is an important sensitivity ones. Just ask this person: “what do you expect from the New year?”. Maybe he doesn’t mind celebrating, but wants to make it day January 1 — well, why not?
FORGET ABOUT SMS
We have a very popular calling and texting friends just after midnight. But the absolute hit — all to do a mass mailing of the same message. And all anything, but sending often offended if you do not receive a response. Many important to be the first one to emphasize what they remember about others. Thus about themselves they did not think these people are ready to sit in the company and at the same time “hang” in the phone, but would then get a “Thank you! Merry Christmas to you!”. For them, someone more important than himself. If this concerns you, learn how to take care of themselves: put the phone in the night and join the feast.