http://dom.goodhouse.com.ua/8-sposobov-izbezhat-konfliktov-v-seme/Споры in the family is inevitable, but there is a difference between constructive debate and unfounded accusations against each other of all mortal sins. Alas, most of the quarrels of the spouses belong to the second category, when it is important to reach agreement in some matter, but just to let off steam. Change the strategy – and you will be able to get rid of the endless and senseless conflicts, writes “Home”.
Stop trying to strive for absolute correctness
How often do you appeal to logic and reason the moment when your other half is seething with anger? Your rational behavior in a situation of emotional explosion partner makes him feel humiliated, saying that he is so unrestrained, and you just a sample of intelligence! Emotional reactions have nothing to do with logic, so the first is to reduce the intensity of emotions, and then to begin to understand in fact.
Explain your position
If you just give a ready solution, not explaining to her husband, from what motives you assume, it can feel like you imagined herself home, and not even the knowledge why it is necessary to do anyway. Perhaps he perceives the event not as you, so you do not agree. Explain your point of view – and really listen.
And in any case does not answer that criticism the criticism. Because then you get a call in the style of “the fool” that does not lead to understanding. Often in a situation when a partner criticizes, you just have to give him a chance to speak and Express their feelings. Maybe after he will splash out negative, he will understand that some questions were wrong.
Overgeneralization in the style of “you always” “you never…” and so on do not carry any common grain, they only hurt the partner and set up against you. The more specifics in your speech, the better. He didn’t take out the trash not because “never hears when you call to him,” and because I missed your words in this particular case. Error in the particular case gives the opportunity to partner in the future to correct his behavior.
No contemptuous notes
Yes, your partner is not always at the height, perhaps, in some areas of life he does not understand. But if your speech would be to slip a derogatory notes, the relationship will never be smooth. Because someone is nice when he is considered worthless?
Avoid exclusion. Especially in sex
Physical contact is one of the obligatory conditions of marriage. You may not be set on sex today, but you have to show your husband that the next time it will be different. And certainly you, in any condition, able to hug her husband or Pat him on the arm.
Talk about your needs and emotions
People, even the closest, not able to understand what’s going on in your heart until you won’t talk about it. If the husband doesn’t understand what’s happening, he feels helpless, he doesn’t understand how to respond and what to do. The result is a conflict.
Therefore, spoken out loud their emotions and talk about your needs.
Not solve his problems
This creates the impression that he’s nothing like he’s not capable of without you having to understand anything. If the husband complains of the difficulties, the main help he expects from you is the usual sympathy. Listen to him talk about the problem, ask questions, but let him make his own decisions.