How not to grow greedy: advice of child psychologists

How to raise a child that has not grown greedy? To teach him to share his good? Or maybe Vice versa — not to teach, that have not grown man-shirt, ready to remove this very shirt for the sake of others? To understand helped us Moiseenkova Tatiana, child psychologist, member of the Ukrainian Association of specialists on overcoming the consequences of traumatic events, and Olga evlanova, psychotherapist, coach-traumatherapie Ukrainian Association of specialists on overcoming the consequences of traumatic events, the founder of the school of healthy adults.


When someone else’s child pulls your hand from the toy, say, “It’s a toy washi (your child). Let’s ask his permission.” This phrase you teach your son to understand their boundaries and what to break them others can not. That is, grow self-sufficient person.

At refusal of the son do not exhort him to “share” — otherwise your child will not learn to say “no” and can’t refuse anyone, even to their detriment.

This position stick, even if the “other child” is too, your children: kinship does not give the right to violate the personal boundaries of people.

At the same time, communication with other children we teach should be too. Make the child an offer: “let’s you and Pete will exchange toys? You will probably be interested to play it machine”. If Petya does not toys, let your child play with his truck, prompting like: “I Want you to be the driver of the truck. Peter will be loading in the sand, and you upload it there, where will the construction of the “house”. Or offer the variants of the game, which will attract children. And so, without coercion, and loss of self-esteem, you teach your child the notorious socialization, and the ability to negotiate and share (in other words — not to be greedy).


Because of the employment of parents compensate for the lack of attention lots of toys (including Teens and adolescents). Then all that is bought by parents (even cookies “from the Bunny”) in the subconscious of the child identifitseerida with mom-dad. How can he share “them” if they are so few? To avoid this, we need to increase contact with the child. Let it be 20-30 minutes, but daily. Talk through the shoulder joint and even cleaning vegetables for dinner, the attention is not considered. Attention is when you do something that is important for the child in his understanding of: play kid games, sculpt, draw together (or for him), riding a Bicycle or sew clothes for dolls.


Let bring home friends of the child. The order “don’t bring them home!” we give the child that the world is hostile, and you can’t trust anyone. What kind of bounty it? The same effect has the promise of not to play with Ivan, because his father drinks, and Stepan is due to the fact that his mom is very talkative. So you are setting the child is and that he has the right to judge others. Of course, if the friends are a bad influence on the child, the communication should be limited.

Eliminate the “last sandwich”. From time to time encourage them to grab Goodies “for friends, as to suffice not only the friends of the child, but he himself. After all, when there is a feeling of “the last sandwich”, to share well do not want to.