All parents strive for their children to be good and obedient. Here only it does not synonymous. Forcing the child to obey all your instructions, you inflict significant harm, writes womanway.online. We will discuss the consequences of strict upbringing and will advise you on what to do to your child with them collided.
1. Lack of independence and lack of initiative
Obedient child acts according to the instructions – because of this, he ceases to be an independent and loses the desire to show the slightest initiative and participation in their own lives.
Of these kids will not work, neither leader nor self-sufficient person – because your child, even as it enters the fourth decade, will look for someone to tell him what to do.
Give your child a little freedom, let him choose books that will be read, a hobby that he wants to do, the colors he prefers to wear.
Encourage creativity – let the kid himself suggests walks and leisure, show him what to take the initiative is good, and to make independent decisions too.
2. Susceptibility to others ‘ influence
Yes, when your child is small, you find it easier, so he took the deal and did not insist on their extravagant desires, but when he gets older, such a failing can be only harmful.
Judge for yourself, this child will easily accept rules of any game, will go with anyone and anywhere, elementary afraid to say “no” and “don’t want”.
Be attentive to the desires of their kid. Categorically not worth to protest and to punish him for disobedience – explain why what he wants may not be exercised. If you are in doubt with a response to the request of the child, ask them to substantiate his desire is to teach him to understand that he really needs, and defend their point of view in an adult way, without yelling and tantrums.
3. Low self-esteem
The strictness of parents, whether it is even justified, causes the child to wonder if it’s good enough to be your child. After all, if he’s so often criticized, pointing, blame, then something is wrong.
All this leads to low self-esteem. In this case, the child will obey only in order to earn your love. But you love him, right? Let the child understand that he didn’t deserve the love of such a beautiful baby and so worthy of it.
Tell the child that you believe in him, learn to forgive his mistakes and avoid phrases like “we are disappointed in you” – all this is preserved in the memory of the child and can sometimes lead to serious psychological problems in the future.
4. Tenderness and aggressiveness
The suppression of aggression often leads to the fact that all negative emotions are manifested in the form of chronic diseases, ailments, outbursts of rage and physical violence.
If your child is not showing anger and discontent, it does not mean that he did not feel. Even the most minor negative pulses tend to accumulate like a snowball, which eventually threatens to become an avalanche.
Teach your child to show emotions. Don’t tell the boy that he couldn’t cry, and a girl that she can’t play active games with the boys – all the way to release negative emotions and it is necessary for your child.
The ideal output would be sport – but remember that you can not push. Let the child involved in this as much as he wants and of course he should wish to go to the section, send it back by force, you should not.
5. Overcompensation
Very often exemplary and obedient children to go into the lead – in adolescence or even older. They succumb to evil influences, master of curses, give birth to bad habits – all this is an attempt to compensate for the lack of freedom in childhood.
Give your child more freedom, let go to walk, let alone spend time with them and their games – the older the child becomes, the more this time he must be that his identity could comfortably develop, without resorting to the framework of parental prohibitions.
All children act up and behave badly – is the norm, because adults do the same. Perfect are neither the children nor the parents. Learn to accept and understand your child, and then he will answer you in return, and in the future will become a great man without complexes and childhood traumas.
