Let’s be realistic: change of numbers on the calendar doesn’t magically improve our lives. But this we can do. We only need to put in a little effort and start to follow a few main rules, says Ph. D. by Stephanie Sarkis.
At the beginning of the new year we conduct a kind of revision of his life – that the coming year a maximum of useful and rich, writes healthinfo.ua.
Ask yourself these questions and be sure to answer them as detailed as possible, suggest psychologists.
“I want to feel this year?”
This question touches on your goals for the coming year, and thanking the honest answer is you can get a feel for how the goal that you have chosen your. For example, if you want to feel recognized and respected, then surely your goal means that you will increase your competence and connection with others. If you want to be more independent, consider what purpose you should achieve that to happen?
“Who in this year I will love unconditionally, no matter what will happen?”
Think about the people who are dear to you, which perhaps not the easiest relationship, but in your heart lives the love of him. Yes, children are to obey parents – don’t always understand you, and a partner to argue on trifles. But even if, during a family quarrel you will remember about his love, it will not attempt to change a person or to crush it for yourself – you will learn to accept it for what it is.
“How am I going to survive failures and their mistakes?”
We build grandiose plans and projects, but, alas, not all of them come to life – or come not thus, as we would like. Learn to repair itself, its internal state, after failures and setbacks. Consider: what steps will you take to figure out where you erred, and how you forgive… yourself. For example, it can be a phrase: “I’m only human and sometimes do stupid things”. This can be a breathing technique that will help you reduce your stress levels. It can be yoga or a conversation with a loved one.
“Who can I help this year?”
Your contribution to the life of another person can be very important, even life-changing for him. Think friend, family member or colleague that may need your attention and help: the able to help him out? Maybe a friend needs your compassion, fellow in sensible, time this advice, mother in the household. Just remember that before you help, you should ask whether this person to accept your help.
“What’s the word I want to choose to have it described me this year?”
This will help you to understand what qualities and habits you need to develop, what goals to achieve. Maybe your word is “patience” – and you’ll say it to myself whenever something will not happen. Maybe your word is “courage” and you will try to be more decisive in his actions. Maybe your word is “curiosity” and you will try to expand my knowledge, find yourself a new passion or hobby. Write down the word each morning, rising from bed, repeat it aloud.
Beginning of a new year we often perceive as a symbolic moment: give yourself a promise in the hope that the coming year will make us happier and more successful, will help to realize in the professional field and bring stability in his personal life. For all this to happen, we ourselves need to change. And, of course, it is not necessary to start a new life with January, March, or next Monday. Especially since any changes need more time than one day.
1. Set boundaries
To succeed, we must learn to say “no”, become stricter and stronger. It takes some courage and it may displease people who have used your soft. But close I am sure you will understand and support. So from now on you do not suffer in silence if:
– you are asked about something at the last minute and you will have to change their plans to comply with the request;
– you say arrogant and disrespectful;
– you are unfairly criticized;
– you are forced to do something you don’t like, bad for you or you just think it’s unacceptable for reasons of ethics and morality;
– you say that you need to lose weight/the way you dress/buy house/expensive car etc.;
someone make decisions for you, or acts on your behalf without your consent.
2. Start to sleep
An adult should sleep 8-9 hours a day. Sleep is considered to be strong and healthy, if you will quickly and easily fall asleep, not Wake up at night and get up in the morning fresh and rested. To build a dream, you need to:
– go to bed and get up at the same time (optimally at 23:00 and 8:00). Such a timetable must be adhered to on weekends;
– sleep in a well ventilated room at a temperature of 19-21°C with the lights off and blackout curtains that block the sun’s rays. To not awakened before the time the sounds of the street, you can sleep under the so-called “white noise” or nature sounds (rain, ocean). They may lose your smartphone;
– to abandon the TV, laptop, phone, tablet one hour before bedtime.
Studies have proven that radiation from the screens of gadgets, reduces the production of the sleep hormone melatonin.
If all these steps are unable to resolve sleep disorders, so you need to see a specialist.
Work out, start to walk more, become more active – call it what you want, the meaning is the same: you need to move more. Studies have proven that even 20 minutes of physical activity a day helps reduce the risk of depression, panic attacks and attention deficit disorder. Because training increases the synthesis of dopamine and serotonin, which are conventionally called the “pleasure hormone” and “hormone of good mood”. Ideally, of course, everyone needs one hour of physical activity a day. Sometimes the hardest thing is to find something to their liking.
4. Make a list of goals
Many psychologists say that the mere recording of a particular purpose in a notebook or in a list increases the chances of achieving it. And you need to tell as many people about your plans. Now it is very easy to do – write on the page in social network: “this year I run a half marathon”. And you will be uncomfortable no significant reason to abandon this idea.
So works the principle of the obligation or social order. The fact that we all have a deep need to act consistently. When we publicly take upon ourselves a commitment, then try to fulfill it and thus to prove its consistency. Besides, from a psychological point of view, the fact of fulfillment of obligations contributes to increased self-esteem.
Ask yourself, what are the three things most important in your life. All of them are different – material and spiritual: family, work, personal growth, money, good food, new apartment, education, travel, entertainment, etc. Think about the cases in which you spend your resources: energy, time, money wasted. And remove those things from your life.
When you focus on the Essentials, you will be able to set goals and achieve them, you will not waste your time on trifles and will get his.