I’m in the Express, following in the airport of Oslo. Time five in the afternoon, and the train is Packed to overflowing. Passengers standing in the aisle. Shelves crammed with suitcases and bags. I was lucky because I got on the train to Sandvika and managed to find a place where you could sit.
Around me, a woman. It can be seen that she had a rough day. Body language shows that she’s most of the day spent on his feet, and that she has a sore back.
My British-Italian instincts of a gentleman shout at me, so I offered her my place. It is evident that she needs it more than me.
But I repeat: never give a woman your seat — that’s what I’ve learned in more than 20 years of stay in this most equal country in the world.
Of course there are some exceptions: mothers with small children, people with disabilities, elderly women, the sick and pregnant women.
“No, thank you”
When I first came to Norway, I tried to be a gentleman opening doors for women or offering them your seat. Typically, these friendly attempts received in response to “thank you”. From time to time I even received a response Televisi me with a cold stare or a sympathetic facial expression, and sometimes both.
Very rarely, a woman took my chivalrous attempt, and even in doing that, she felt more uncomfortable than gratitude.
A Norwegian friend explained to me that my attempts to behave gallantly against the Norwegian women was interpreted, perhaps, as poorly camouflaged signal that they are less than men fit to stand in the aisle, open the doors or raise the umbrella. So I stopped trying.
Trench warfare in the train
Suddenly back in the train rises man. Judging by appearances, he could be an Iranian. Great costume, and it smells like toilet water after shave, his shoes polished to a Shine, he looks friendly. It looks like this businessman is my alter ego, the brave kamikaze jumped to perfect English to offer a woman his seat.
The woman stares at him and hand and a tight smile, clearly shows that in this absolutely no need.
The man interprets it as the first polite refusal, which is absolutely common in Mediterranean countries or the Middle East. He therefore again earnestly offers his place, expecting the woman politely accepts his offer. To the surprise of the men, the woman takes a step back and said, “Thank you, I can handle. Airport is not far away.”
Not paying attention to the answer, the man humbly offers his place for the third time. He bows his head and almost begging her to sit down. The woman again refuses his proposal. She’s clearly irritated by the fact that she will have to say no.
The tense situation turns into trench warfare. Honor of the businessman is under threat.
If he returns to his seat, he will lose face. If she goes, it could be construed as an acceptance of the fact that she is the representative of the weaker sex, which occurs more than him.
In order to overcome the tense situation, the other man leans over him and says, “since none of you want to sit, will you sit to me?” Everyone is smiling, and the woman looks at Iranian, says thank you and sits down. The man won this battle, but his mouth had left a bitter aftertaste.
My mother raised me to be a gentleman
If you want, call me old fashion or a male chauvinist, but I was raised so I gave way to the women who opened doors for them, walked along the sidewalk closer to the road when I go with a woman.
And who taught me all this? My mother!
Several times happened, when I wanted you, Norwegian women — strong, independent, equal, proud Norwegian goddess would allow us men to be gallant and polite in dealing with you. And this does not mean that we view you as the “weaker sex”.
We know that you are unable to open the door, and just as long to stand in the train, as we men. We know that you earn their own money and can leave us at their discretion.
But when you accept our small gentleman’s gesture with gratitude and maybe a smile, we feel satisfaction, even for an instant. This gives us a sense of its uniqueness and the need — which we can’t feel, simply taking the child from kindergarten or doing some work around the house.
