“The roots of social contradictions lie in the heart of the young Arab, he is imitating Western youth, when in love, but in marriage, wants to emulate his father and uncles. In his love Affairs he appears a womanizer, and after marriage — Hadji,” wrote Ali al-Vardi.
Want to know my opinion?
Will warn you — I Arab husband, and that’s it.
We, Arab husbands and wives, love each other to such an extent that we begin to suffocate in the grip of each other. Nothing escapes our attention, but not because I doubt, forgive us Allah. On the contrary, our partner is very kind, and we are afraid that bad people deceived him, and so follow every major and minor thing in his life: his phone, papers, clothes and pockets. Without any embarrassment we may even require secret passwords for his accounts. In General, invade all that is called personal space.
We hate the distance because we hate privacy, as in the day of our wedding completely abandoned it, believing that marriage is a merger, and for us it absolutely has no place.
We believe that personal space is an area where committed all sorts of errors and sins. If you don’t do anything forbidden, why want to hide something from your partner? Personal boundaries and innocence in our country are opposites.
We live in a marriage like the state of Albania in the era of Enver Hoxha who have reached such a degree of radicalism in their Communist ideas, which it boycotted even the Soviet Union. Yes, we, like Albania, reject any private property, but it’s not about ownership of land and not about the money. We oppose the right to keep distance, to breathe, to have a private space in which man has freedom to do whatever he wants.
I’ll strangle you strangle me. I will penetrate even to the thoughts in your head. I will do my best to uncover your secrets and understand where they came from. From your mother, of course, and maybe from his father. The truth is, I’m afraid you will find yourself with a bad friend, as I’ve warned many times.
In our marital relationship we, as slaves: belong fully to the other side.
Yes, I believe in friendship between a man and a woman, I’m a modern, Mature man, I have many friends who call me and we discuss a variety of issues. I also give them advice. Yes, I believe in friendship between a man and a woman, but do not believe in friendship between a man and my wife.
I’m a very polite person. I’m smiling neighbor when I greet her, as my dear colleagues. I help them when I can, but will never allow such to his wife. I don’t know why, but don’t like it when she helps a male colleague or receiving help from them.
In our family the doctrine we treat their house as the world before the collapse of the Soviet Union, because the husband is one pole, and the wife another, and the conflict between them forced to pay the smallest country — the children. To say nothing about trying to get everybody on their side, using the weapon of seduction or threats?
The house is the perfect place to realize our dream, but at the same time, it is in this arena we demonstrate some kind of personal weapons, which can not show outside. It is here that we are trying to prove that we were not able to prove outside the home.
However, the truth is that we — people who believe in democracy and love freedom. Look at the prison — they swarm by the thousands such men as we are. We pay a high price for it, but do not follow the principle of freedom at home.
I give a question for the consideration of her family, so she could freely discuss the number of solutions, but will never allow to determine which issues need to be addressed, and the wife must obey me, otherwise it will become stubborn. Children also have to listen to me, because otherwise it will go the way of irreverence.
God, I can let the son to discuss the words I speak? How can I allow him to criticize himself, as if my opinion is not the truth? You want to destroy my credibility in the eyes of children?
Yes, sometimes I realize that my decision was wrong, and what I was asked to do was wrong. But, of course, I can’t apologize. Have you ever seen in Arab countries, father or mother, izvinyaysya in front of children for erroneous judgments, undeserved punishment or yelling?
How can you ask me to teach their children the freedom of choice, which is considered the highest virtue? Do you want my son chose on whom to go to school, and the daughter chose a husband? What about my experience? Have I saved it in vain, so they experienced everything themselves and made their own? Do you want me to be an honest Advisor, not a ruler who commands and demands obedience?
You know what really hurts me? It is the monotony and boredom quickly into our family life.
My wife says she wants to spend the holidays away from home and family. Of course, I rejected her, because I care for the children in her absence? How am I going to feed, clothe and bathe? God, what do you say then about my neighbors?
In our society the idea that we have one or both of us may be a separate vacation, raises serious questions: we live on a 24-hour service seven days a year. But didn’t I tell you how we hate the distance
I believe that each stage has its own characteristics. For example, flowers and words of love will be useful for you before marriage and after marriage should only talk about paying the bills, the problems of children in school, the role of parents in our life and career.
Imagine, there are those who call love is stronger, and we are free. Imagine, there are those who require the spouses to make every effort to make their relationship remained the same as was in the days of their youth, but otherwise, life becomes gloomy, and marriage — duty… tedious duty. Presented?
Imagine that someone asks us to be lovers, not professionals, that is not to take things too seriously and not to exaggerate every problem we face to stop complaining, to enjoy, as an Amateur, hobbyist, and make the disadvantages before the advantages.
The truth is that we all wear masks, and in most cases mask before marriage is different from a mask after. Therefore, everything we say before marriage, is contrary to our words later. Let’s be clear in this.