Success in life depends on self-assessment. How a person relates to themselves, how to evaluate their abilities and what place assigns itself in society, affect his purpose in life and the results it achieves. Self-esteem is adequate or inadequate – too low or too high. About what is the consequence of a distorted perception of your personality and how to deal with it, writes likar.info.
How is self-esteem
The formation of the self begins with the first years of life of a person with experience of achievements and failures. An important role is played by the environment in which grows and Matures the child. The attitude of the parents, relatives, adults and peers directly affects how he will assess his personality. Physical and psychological support and care from others helps him to develop a positive attitude.
This process is influenced and which have the self-esteem of the kid by adults, especially parents. After all, they are a role model.
When a person becomes an adult, his opinion of himself is not so much dependent on the opinions of others, as it psychologically formed and knowing what they can do. He does not seek to achieve goals at any cost. It is almost impossible to provoke into doing something rash.
But if a person is too rely on assessment of other people and “feeds” their approval or criticism, it speaks to the inadequacy of his self-esteem – it is too high or too low.
People with this type of perception of your personality is inclined to exaggerate his own merits and achievements. Sometimes this is accompanied by a tendency to downplay the ability of others. He believes their success solely by their own merit, and the role of external factors underestimates. But the failures blames circumstances or other people but not themselves. He is sensitive to criticism and is willing to aggressively defend their positions.
The main desire of people with exaggerated estimate of his own “I” – at any price to protect yourself from failure and to prove his own rightness in everything. But often this behavior is a reaction to underlying feelings of inferiority.
The result of too high self-esteem – difficulties in communicating with others and problems with self-realization. As to the first, no one will want to chat with a person who does not consider the interests of others or allow yourself to speak arrogant. But the problem with self-realization can occur for two reasons. On the one hand, overextending themselves people avoid goals, ability to achieve who are not sure at 100%, the fear of being not up to par. As a result, they deprive themselves of the many chances in life. On the other, unwarranted self-confidence often causes them to set themselves unattainable objectives. Analyze failures, and in the end, they spend useless time and energy.
If you notice that people treat you coldly, and you have enemies more than friends, observe his demeanor. Perhaps the problem is your inflated self-esteem. Learn to treat people with respect, avoid disparaging phrases in relation to others, listen to their needs and try to make the other person something nice. Most likely, from the hostile attitude of others to your person there is nothing left.
People with low self-esteem underestimate their importance and abilities. Their own achievements they explain by chance, through another person, luck, and last of all his effort. If a person is not just saying it, and firmly believes it is not modesty, but a sign of low self-esteem. To praise such people react with distrust or even aggressive rejection.
People with low self-esteem always doubt himself, so also has problems with self-realization. He selects only those targets, which is obviously easy reach. But it is often significantly below its real possibilities. Not surprisingly, his success in studies, personal life and career was very mediocre, but he is inclined to attribute it to external circumstances.
If low self – esteem is about you, try to improve it with the help of auditory training. Every day remind yourself of its merits. Aloud and mentally repeat positive attitude about what you are talented, beautiful, wonderful, etc.
You can use the principle of comparison and competition: if someone could do it, maybe you will, because you are worse. In serious cases you can try to compare yourself with someone who does it worse than you, and recall your own setting that you are “not worse than others, but somewhere in the middle.”
As you can see, any altered self-esteem (high or low) can seriously ruin someone’s life. Available today is a lot of literature, which anyone can learn to adjust their mindsets and patterns, using special exercises and techniques. This will improve their quality of life.